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Do You Really Need to Be Liked in Sales?
A while back, I was a rookie sales rep at an American computer firm in London. Like many fresh hires, I believed a great salesperson had a “gift of the gab,” a bottomless well of enthusiasm, and a big personality. The “good time Charlie.” One colleague joked that the best sales rep was someone who lived way beyond their means—a lifestyle that forced them to sell relentlessly. We all laughed, but there was truth beneath the humor: desperation and motivation can intersect.
Then there was Frank, the brash rep who we all loved. He closed a colossal deal by appearing to befriend a prospect who seemed in need of a pal. I’d watch them linger in pubs near Fleet Street and wonder, Doesn’t this guy see Frank is “playing” him? But the sale got signed, and Frank rode off into the sunset with a hefty commission. It raised a timeless question: Must you like someone to do business with them? And from the seller’s side, do I need to make you like me to seal the deal?
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The Role of AI in B2B Sales
Enter modern B2B sales, where artificial intelligence has made an impressive splash. AI can highlight a seller’s expertise right away, analyzing, crunching, summarizing and presenting insights to show real value before the “liking” part even has time to blossom. Trust—is in part based on confidence in someone’s ability—can be built faster if your prospect sees you know your stuff. AI helps here, if you use it right, it helps – big time! AI cannot make you more likable. It simply frees you to showcase genuine insight instead of wasting time on guesswork or repetitive tasks.
Why Being Liked (Still) Matters
Relationships in business are complicated. Firms set up strict ethics policies while simultaneously using posh corporate suites to wine and dine clients. Humans crave both rational fairness and a personal edge—it’s in our DNA. So, even if you bring stellar value, it usually doesn’t hurt if customers can stand being in the same room with you.
But how much do they need to like you? It’s true that sometimes, a business relationship can thrive on pure practicality: if your solution is that good, people might swallow their dislike of your personality. Yet more often, “liking” functions as a social lubricant that makes deals less cumbersome.
Psychologists point out that “ people like people who are like they are,” holding common interests, shared values, or even trivial coincidences like rooting for the same sports team. Studies show we’re drawn to similarity because it validates our beliefs and helps us feel less alone. We also assume people who are similar will like us back.
The Classic Advice: Carnegie and Bunnell
In How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie outlined key principles: show genuine interest, smile, remember names, be a good listener, talk about others’ interests, and make them feel important. Great advice, but if applied mechanically, it can come off as fake.
Mo Bunnell’s Snowball Effect highlights five “Drivers of Likeability”: commonality, frequency, mutuality, balance, and uniqueness. Essentially, the more meaningful interactions you share, the more likely people are to feel comfortable and valued. Genuine conversation (not shallow flattery) is key.
Can You “Make” Someone Like You?
It depends on how you define “make.” You can absolutely dial up your friendliness: ask questions, remember details, share a laugh. But if you’re transparently manipulative, people sense it. Worse, trying too hard might backfire, causing prospects to wonder why you’re so eager to be their best friend.
Still, in a B2B world loaded with choices, personal rapport can be a deciding factor—especially when competing solutions feel similar. People gravitate toward those they trust to deliver not only results but also a decent working relationship.
Where AI Fits In
AI can accelerate trust by promoting capability fast: generating insights, presenting ideas, backing them up, or identifying market gaps. Buyers see you’re prepared and knowledgeable, which can nudge them to invest time in getting to know you. But AI won’t fake a shared sense of humor or sincerely empathize with a client’s struggles. That’s where your human side remains irreplaceable.
Being True to Yourself (Without Being a Jerk)
Ultimately, “be yourself” might be the best (if clichéd) advice. If you’re naturally warm and funny, let that shine—but don’t treat every interaction like open-mic night. Likewise, if you’re a no-nonsense type, trust that some customers appreciate a direct approach. Just be aware that extreme behaviors can alienate people. Manage your quirks to avoid sabotaging your own efforts.
Final Thought: Balancing Trust, Value, and Personality
At the end of the day, people buy from those who meet their needs—whether that’s a solution to a pressing problem, a spark of inventive thinking, or even just a relief from a day of tedium. This is further confused by social media, personal brands and virtue signaling. Authenticity is hard to recognize. Being liked won’t close a deal that offers zero real value, but showcasing real value is easier if people don’t dread your presence. AI can do the heavy lifting on data and logic, freeing you to refine your human touch.
So, can you make someone like you? Perhaps not entirely—but you can be a trustworthy, competent person who’s enjoyable to do business with. When you add AI’s ability to display expertise right from the start, you create a powerful formula: trust plus value sets the stage, and likability keeps the conversation rolling. In the end, authenticity and skill work together to make real connections—and those connections often lead to the best business relationships of all.
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